



dufi. 




-^ OUR HOTEL ; -4* 



—OR,— 



Rats, the Eell Boy. 



A FARCE 

IN ONE ACT. 



Will H. BrunnliDferi 



• TO WHICH IS ADDED 

DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES-CAST OF THE CHARACTERS- 
ENTRANCES AND EXITS— RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE 
PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE 
■ OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 



Entered accorrfinn tn nc' Conuren^ !n ihp vnr t/ 1891, 5y 

AMES' PUDLLsn/NG CO.. 
iritlie office of the Librarian of Congress ut Wuskinglon. 



CLYDE, OHIO: 

AMES' PUBLISHING CO. 



OUM HOI^L.- on. I. ATS THE BELL BOT. 

CAST OF CHARACTERS. 

Ji : iierfovmed at Applcton, Wia., Feb. 26. 1891 

Rats, (the ne7v hell hoy) ■Will II, Briinnhnfer. 

Jr^f()THY Hay, (tJic pmpri tor) A. L. Knether. 

IiAi,PHRANTKf. ithe cleric) Henr>' Mille-. 

■ lOF. Mason, (the lost one) Tnnv S pffin. 

U. 11. Lmbug, ithe drummer) John Wolf. 

PohL'jiR AXD Fireman. 

TootsikHay. r^7,eA,-,V/) Mi ss Carrie Sc-herok. 

Ijaura. (her Ulster^ MisJ Lena fcfcherck. 

Miss Prim, (the old maid) Miss Grace Clark. 

TIME OF r LAYING -O MINUTES. 



COSTUMES. 

Hay and RAT.Pfr.— EVc.-ji /ay dre s. 

.ToK Mason.— Bell boy's suit. 

Rats.— Fir-t suit; Country boy's small sreen c'lcck suit, made in one piece, red 
frowsy wig- sliniiprs and ?;iit,ers (white) Second suit; bell boy's suit, white f.oa.t and 
trciusRrs with black brad. 

TooTSiE.— Regulation Scubrrtt-^ dros^. 

Laura — Fiist: hone dress. Second; walking ^uit. 

Miss Prim.— Urpen dress, red waist, old maid's wi , large blue spectacles. 

Fireman.— Regulation fireman's dresi. 

PROPERTIES. 

Cigar boxes wine bot leg, glas.-cs, register, lien and ink, pit^lior on bir;twog:ins 
behind .'ame; basket fille I with pa'-col^ for Rats, and big of sug ir for Tootsie, at v. 
jD. ;two trunks, one smi'l toy trunk, otlier large trunk contiining a pair of soek^, 
'fi up'e of fhir's and eoll irs at V. n. ; grip at to]i s^ta'rs; grip for Umbiig, c. i).; basket 
(empty) for Toot>ie, nt i,. 2 k.; monoy for Rilpii ; firj hose for Firemen, c. D-: gong at 
R. 4 E.; hav° pbnty of boxes an I bottles on l):ir; s \t of I'lul bells to hr^ workel from 
L. 4 e.; key board at l. 4 k., bell on sama; one bottle of cold tea on ba,r for Uay. 



Note.— The sueccs? of this farci (and it has been highly successful at every per- 
formance) depei'ds large y ur)on aC-'on: which is found so lacking in rao*t anvi'eur 
performanc 'S. Rat= shou'd be cmtinual y oi th"! jump, li'^ewisc H-y and Ra'p'i. 
when they .ire on. Toot ie should be as hoydcmish as possible, an I Liura's pir' is 
indendi-d tolift I ys'oricil. The object of the farce, if there be any, is to sh tw the 
chaa^'or of thi^ different neiple t> bi foun I in hotels. The "busin-ss" should b < 
rehcars'd lliorotti/h/y. for upon that the far,! 3 largely 'lepends. I played Rats !i.>i half 
fool sh, bnts ill s la p enoi,di for busin -ss. I w mid siggost thvt the person faking 
liny, b^ a fat man. Rats and Tootsie should be of nearly a height, an I not ovir 
five feet in hei'iht. All other inform >tion that will in any way aid in the product on 
of thi-< farce, I will gladly send, if a Idressed at Appleton, Wisconsin. 
4Sr Above all things keep it on the jump. 

STAGE T)inEC110NS. 
R., mer.ns Right: i... Left; r. h.. Ri,"r'it Hand; r,. u., Lsfh Hand; r.. Canter; s. r. ; 
f2d K.,] Ficcond Entrance; u. E., Upper Kncrancn; m. n.. Middle Door; p.. tluFlat; 
D. F., f>aor in Flat; r. o.. Riglic of Center; l. 0., Left of Center. 

1 . R. o. r,. I,. 0. r,. 

.*. The roaJor is sunuosed to be upon the staae fac^is the audience. 



OUR HOTEL ; 

-OU,— 

Rats, the Bell Boy. 



ACT r. 

SCENE I. — Office in Hotfl—hnr l>'ick J., corner, kc/ board hamis on 
wall — stairway vnth banister n. corner — table front c, chair R. and 
L., doors c. bacJc, R. and l. — elevator R. — as curtiin rises. Hay is 
discovered asleep hack of bar, stretched out on two chairs in 0, 
comatose state, holding bottle in one hand — loud crash and fall 
outside— howl from Jon and shriek of lauihter from Tootsie — 
mttsic fast and furious — door in elevator suddenhj thrown open — ^1 
TooTsiK rushes in slamming door in Joe's /^ ce, then stands with 
ba:ik 'against duor. 

Tootsie. {waving hand) Whoop! DiJ he sli'e? Well — 

(poundinq on door 

Hay. {rushing about room) Fire! thieves! help I murder ! {noise 
rt door) For heaven's sakes, Toots, what's the matter? House 
(hie) afire? 

Toots, (aside) Ha! ha! ha! He's got the snakes again, I fjjuess! 
{awful noise at door) Oh ! there's nothiuij; the matter, dad. [noise] 
Yes, there is too ! (whining) S ly da 1, Joj's been pushing me in the 
mud and I — 

Joe. (outside) Too's Hay, you're a doggoned story teller, and 
ynu know it. {noise at door 

Hoy. {with self satisfied smile) I srr now. {to Tootsie) So 
vou've been amusing yourself with tlio bell biy again, {goes to door) 
We'll see about this. 

Pushes Tootsie center, door is ff.ung open ft y Joe, roho rushes for 
Tootsie and Hay is knocked down on floor — Tootsie laughing. 

Joe. {shaking fist) There yon ar", Toots Hay. (turning around) 
Just look and see wliat you'v » done ! 

Toots, (lookim qutckh/ to Hay, viho is picking himself ^tp) Why, 
Joe Mason, how dare you say I did th it? Pa, just hear him fib. 

(cruidfj, but lauQhing qiii^ 



Jf OVU SOTEL; OM, BATS, TEE BELL BOY. 

Hay. (coming slowly doion to them) Have I got the delirium 
tremens, or what the devil does ail me? [secst Joe) Well, Avhy the 
deuce aren't j^oii at work. I sont yon up to Room 11, no less than 
an hour a<?o, witli a pitcher of w.-itcr. (Tootsie danr.ing witk glee) 
and here vcm are looi^ino; like a tr v.wj. 

Joe. (blubber inr/) I.ookatiier! ' ' (Tootsie quiet 

Hay. Well, I don't see nothin'. (aside) I must be sober, ^'cause 
I generally see dout)l('. (to Joe) Come, explain! Why aren't yon 
at work, and not lookin' like a tr.imp? 

Joe. {rvliininy) It's this way, iMr. Hay : I was hustlin' up the 
stairs with a pitcher of water for No. 11, when Toots there, runs up 
beliind me and — 

Toots, (in a liowl of ragf) L'sastoryl 

Joe. I ain't lyin', Mr. ILiv. 

Toots. Y'are. You're fibbin I 

Joe. Mr. Hay, so lielp me {here use some well knoion local name) 
I ain't. It's the truth and she knows ic. 

I Hay. (toJoK) I guess you're tellin' the truth, Joe. (/o Tootsie) 
|Now then, you be quiet. I believe tilings of this kind have liai)- 
pened before. Go on, Joe! 

Toots, (mal' im; fur J OK — B .\y stops her) Oh! howl wish I had 
cou by the hair, same's I had you a minute ago. 

Ccrys — Joe heh'nd ll\Y 

Joe. (quickly) Tiiere, didn't I tell vou she was botheiin' me. 
She just said she had me by tlio hair— and that ain't all either. 
(i'ooTsiE nervously tearing at npron — head doion) I was coming u > 
stairs with ihe pitcher of water, when up coines Toots. gra1)s me hv 
the hair, ('J'ooTsrE smiling until at end or' Joe's lines, ruhen she breaks 
into a roar) gives me a jerk and down I goes to the bottom; and, sav 
(.crying) just take a look at me, vnll you? ' • (Tootsie laughs Ion I 
^ ^ Hay. (quickly) Sliut up ! (she stops laurjhin/) Is that so, Too;s ? 
Trnth now. 

Toots, (sloioly—kead down) I guess it 1?. 

Joe. And so I guess I'll quit. 

Hny. (astonished) Quit! Why. you've only been here two davs. 

Joe. I know that; but ma savs it isn't good for my heallli, and i 
guess it ain't. 

Hay. (throwing look at Toosii:'! Very well. 
(goes to bar, .] OK f(>lloiniiia—'l'oovrHKsudde)ily milces a run for.Jir. 

Joe. Look at her now, i\rr. Hay! (gels behind \l\Y 

^Ilay. Toots, just let him alone, (shestnrts for table and sitsdoinn] 

i'H 'tend to you directlv. ('a .lov.) Here's your monev, Joe. ('i« 

takes it andednes to door) Yo I'vebeen a sjoVd boy and I think yoi'd 

betler stav. You stand a good chanc(! you know. 

Joe. Yes, I stand a good chance of getting ni}^ neck broke. No, 
thanks! You're all ri'iiit, Mi-. Hay, b:it I don't want to stay while- 
six-'-; here. Gnod day! (slam.^ door and exits, c. e. 

Hay. (comes fri,m behind bar with sign, '■'■B ly Wanted" in large 
letters) This is getting to be monotonous. I'm darnod if the old 
sign isn't getting worn out. (exit, C. E. 

Toots, (starting snddenlg for door) Now's my chance! 
lie-enter, Hay, c. e., ami stopping her. 

Hay. No you don't! O ', no! I'm not qui e through with yov 
yet! (8i\e again assumes poaitian down l., tearing ax>von and actini 



OUEEOTEL; OB, BATS, THE BELL SOY. -J> 

rorried— Hay behind bar) Do you know what I've got a good notion 
to do with vou? 

Toots. I don't know. 

IlaiJ. ' {helping himself nut of bottle) I've a darn jjood notion to 
,=end you back to Aunt ""Eiah's." I can't keep a boy while you're 
here — that's the third one who has left me this week, and here it is 
only Tiiursday. (thump on counter) I can't keep one while you are 
here. 

Toots, (in anguish) But yo:i area't goina: to send me hack to that 
borrid old farm. (cryinrj 

Hay. I've got to do so)U(?r7u';if/.' Great Jupiter, I can't stand all 
this. There's that sister of your's, crazy to marry a hotel clerk, 
whpu she knoivs I mean she sh.-ill marry a diike! (business on bar) 
A duke 1 (business) Do you hear? And the dnkiest {hand up) 
duke of dukes I Not only that; bucherc you go driving away every 
boy who works for me. " I'm tired of it all, and so off you go to 
Aunt "Rioh's" in the morning. So make yourself ready. I've 
made — (suddenly checks himself) Wlioa up, Timothy, you're flow of 
'oratory has made j^ou forgetful. Let's have a drink! {does so, 
,sinacking lips) I'm decided! (business on bar) And as lor_ that 
measly hotel clerk of mine, if ever I catch him so much as looking at 
I.aura, I'll — 

{brings shotgun from binder counter and points it at Tootsie 

Toots, (screaming) Oh ! put it away. 

Hay. {moving to l., 2 e.) Never mind, it isn't loaded, but I'll 
shoot him just the sam?. Shoot him, by gosh ! 

(bangs door and exit, i.., 2 e. 

Tools, (jumping vp) Mv I but he's mad. I don't sea why, fer 
Cni never allowed to enjoy mvself. He's such a cross old bear. 
Why can't he kill himself? I'vp lieard people say be drinks enough- 
t ) kill a horse; and 1 suppose he's worse than a horse. AVants me 
lo so back to that horrid old farm, but I'll neverdo it; I'll run awny 
and go onto the stage and be a great actress. That's what I'll do. 

{sits at table R., and cries 
Enter, Laura, c. e. 

Laura. "Why, Toots, crying ! (arm about her) AYhat's the matter, 
:lcar? 

Toots. Pa's going^-to — send me— Ine'c to lliat horrid — o'd farm. 
Don — hoo ! 

Laura. More mischief I snp'xisi'. Toots, but then I wouldn't cry. 
Papa may change his mind. J3ut dear, why not try to keep out of 
mischief? 

Toots. Mischief! Well, there is gratitude. (crying loudly 

Laura. Why child, what ails j^ou ? 

Tools, (sobbing) Ta asked me had — I seen — Ralph talking to 
you— 

Laura. Yes, and you s:ud — 

Tnoi's. "Well I lied, 'cause I said no ; then I commenced praising 
up Rilph — 

Law I. (eagerly) Yes, and father — 

To lis. {imitating) Father s.'ud — 

iMura. (impatiently) Yes, Toots; go on. 

Toots. 1 will if you'll givemea chance. Pa said, ^'darn," picked 
up a loaded shot gun and .said he was going to kill a hotel clerk! 

^ {crying loudly 



P OUR HOTEL; OB, HATS, THE BELL BOY. 

Laura, (running to c. -d.) KiUhioiI (opens door 

Enter, Eats, c. d., slowly. 

Out of my way ! (pushes Eats, loho falls) I must save him ! 

(TooTSiE laughing 

Bats, (on floor) Crazy, I .guess, (sees Tootsie) That's right, 
Jaugh, laugh to your hearts content — I only broke three ribs, and 
the Lord knows how many less. 

Toots, (eyeing him and laughing) What a comical loolvina; jay. 
Ha! ha! ha! 

Bats, (aside) I guess she must take me for a jasper. What? me 
an old sport, (funnijbow—aloitd) Say, is the boss in? 

Toots. Do you mean pa? 

Bats. I suppose so. (aside) I di In't know slie had a "paw." 

Toots. What is it you want? 

Bats. I'm lookin' fer a job — sign outside, "Boy Wanted." 

Toots, (aside) Now 1 will liave some fun. (aloud) Yes, pa 
wants a boy, but I'm afraid j^ou won't do — because — (coming closer 
and looking at him shanil;/) Siv, don't you chew tobacco? 

Bats, (staggered) Naw! Ttiat's — that's cotl'ee essence. 

Toots. Coffee essence? Why, what do you cliew coilee essence 
fur? 

Bats, (confused) I've got the — I've got the — yes, I've got it. 

Toots. How funny you talk. 1 don't doubt that you've got it, 
hut what is it you've got? 

Bats. That's right— I've got it. 

Toots. Ye>:, but 7o«aniave you got? Galloping consumption? 

Bats, (quickly) That's where you hit it. I've got tlie galloping 
consumption, and all that'll save me is coffee essence, (aside) That 
(lone it. 

Toots. Does coffee essence cure consumption? 

Bats. Well, I should smile. It's better than corn cure. 

Toots, (aside) My! won't I have a jiicnic with him! (aloud) 
Of course, if you want a job, you'll have to ask pa, and here he 
comes. 

Enter, Hay, i.., 2 e. 

Hay. (seeing TIats) Well, young man, what oan I do for you? 

Eats has mouthful of tobacco and cannot speak — runs to counter, opens 
cigar box and spits. 

Toots, (aside to Eats) Now act like a Sunday school boy, real 
nice, (at door) Tra, hi, lee! (exit, c. d 

Bats. I want a job, please, sir. 

Jfay. So you saw tlie sign outside, eh ? 

Bats. Yes sir; please sir. 

Hay- (going behind bar and pouring liquor) Yes, that's all rlf^ht 
enough. What'.-; 3M>ur name? 

7s about to drink, whcv. Eats tnkes up glass and empties toith one gulp 
— Hay astonished. 

Bats, (mhiping month vnth sleeve) Mv name's Jezekiah Ichabod 
Ebenezar Benjamin Hariisou Jones— 



OU:S HOTEL; OB, BATS, THE BELL BOY. 9 

Hay. (inajaint) For heaven's sake, stop ! 

Bats. (cont'inuing)Bi\t the boys call me "Rats" for short, {point- 
ing to glass) Say, fill her up attain. Talking; makes me dry. 

Hay. My boy, you ought to make it an object to kill the man 
who srave you that name, as you grow older. Your nerve, too, is 
something magnificent; but I'll try you. I have always paid my 
boys $1.50 per week, and shall expect you to work for the same. 

Bats. You'd better make it two dollar. It's even change you 
know. 

Hai/. T won't promise ynu two dollars, bat as I need someone 
badly, I'll give you two dollars if you earn it. How will that do? 

B(its. All right Mr. — say, what's your nams. 

Hay. Timothy Hay. 

Bats. You look it. But as I was saying, what do I <lo, Tim? 

Hay. (aside) Nerve? Well, I should smile, (aloud) Oh I not 
much; my boys always liked the place, but quit on account of get- 
ting too rich. 

Bats. I suppose so. Say, what are my chances for getting two 
dollars; good? 

Hay. Let's not bother about that now. As I've said, your work 
is easy, the greatest part of it being to answer calls, and when you 
are answering them you've got to fiy I 

Bats. Flv? Ha! ha! you make me laugh. What kind of winc,8 
[lo you think I can get for two dollars or a dollar and a half? 

Enter, Tootsie, l., 2 e., loith bas'.et. 

Toots. Come along, red head. 

Bits. Do I go with her? 

Toots. Of course, you do. 

Hats. What! All for one dollar and a half? Say, you'd bjt' 
ter make that two dollars. 

Ifay. [drinking) Oh! don't bother me. 

Bats, (aside) Don't bother him. I'll make him wish he'd given 
•lie a hundi-ed dollars a week bffore I'm throui!,h w iih this joh. 

Toots, {at door, c.) Did, I'm going for pr.jvi ions for cook, and 
can't he come with me? 

Hay. Certiinly! Rats, von follow her. 

Bats. For one and a half? 

Toots. Yes, red-head, follow ni . (ex,it, c. D. 

Bats, (at bar) Say, how do von suppose she knew 1 was red- 
headeJ. Some one must have squealed on me. 

Hay. Get out! skip! flv! 

Bats. Fly! Just notice. 

Makes running jimp throuf^ ^. v>., knocking down Ralph, loho is just 
about to enter. 

Hay. {comina down) There, I think he'll do. Hustler ? well, 
yes, if he doesn't bother too much. 

Enter, Ralph, c. d. 

Balph. Good-morning, Mr. Hay. 

Haij. Good-morning 1 (aside) "I'd lik-^ to break his darned neck. 
Balph. (turning, leaves in register) Yfhn was the tow-headed 
young devil wh o went^^bv me liice a flasU. in tUe haU. iu^t now? 



» OUR HOTEL; OR, RATS, THE BELL BOY. 

Say. 
Ralph. 
has left ? 



May. That's the new bell boj-. 

Ralph. New bell boy? You do not mean to say that tlie other 



Hay. Of course I do ! (savagely) You don't suppose I'm run- 
ning this hotel for the benefit of bell boys do you ? If you do, you're 
mistaken. And another tiling, you're been told to keep away from 
Laura, and so see that you do. [at k., 2 d.) You've been warned! 

(hangs d^or and exits 

Ralph. The contemptible old scoundrel. Warned, indeed. I'll 
how him a trick which two can play at. [comes down 

Enter, Lauka, b. e., xoildhj. 

Laura, [rushing to his arms) Thank heaven, I am in time — he 
;has not seen you yet. 

Ralph. Seen me? Whv Laurn, wiia*: do you mean? Who? 

Laura, (hysterically) Father !. Flv immediatelr. He has ashot 
^un, and Toots says it i; loaded with cannon halls, (limd noise, 
crash, shriek and sound o'' fall outside) He is comin2; now. {'irahs 
him and pulls him [toirards l., 2 e., by coat-tails — she opens door stdl 
pulling him) Come with me, I entreat you. 

(pulls hard, tail leaves coat and she exits, L., 2 e. 

Ralph, (wildly) What can slie mean. All! [see. Some plot to 
^nurder me, perhaps. But I shall defend myself wltli my lite. 

Snatches shot gun and places himself nt right of dior, c, xoith gun 
pointed — hoiolfrom Rats outside. 

Enter, Tootsie, c. e., slouily vnth paper of sugar, into which she is 
poking her fingers, then loithdrawing and licking th<"m — Ralph 
collapses — c. n. is suddenly shoved open and Rats limns in vnth a, 
basket of parcels — Tootsie doion l., Ralph collapse! at tout of 
stair — Rats down r. 

Rats, (gesticulating wildly) Say, "!\[is=; Toots Hav, you're a lu'ii. 
(she laughs) That's rijjht, lauofh ! Good jo'<o, ha! ha! J'ist henp^ 
of fun fallin' down stairs! {in pain) Ouirli! (Tootsie htughs 
boisterously) Yes, aud there you are with your tlnsf'rsin that su^.ii, 
'and you've had them there ever since we Ictt tlie s ore. 

Toots. It's none of your business if I dii!. 

Rats. Rut I'll tell your dad. 

Tools. Tiien I'll lire you down stairs a:ra"n ! 

Rats, (tragically) Ha I ha! At last I hav • ili-jcovered it. You 
threw me ilnwn stairs. Wait till I see the ol i man. 

Ralph. What's all thi* trouble al)oiit? 

Toots. Oh! nothinjr. Mr. Ral]d), only — this is the new bellboy. 

Rats, (comic hoio) How are you nibs? Yoii'i'e lookiiii; well. 

Ralph, (aside) He has plenty of self-assurance. I may find a 
cliance to use him. 

(female voice l., 2 e., calling Toots tn 

Toots, (to llx'i.pn at counter) Isn't hea dandv? Will f have fun 
with him — well, I gue^s — (repeat call) Therii'-^ conk callins; me — 
I've .sot to ijit. (at I.,, 2 k,) Coimc aloiij; red-head. (eziP, h. K, 

Rats, (rushing to bar, basket in hand) Say, you just tell her, the 
next time you see her, not to call me "led-liead," 'oau<e it huit-; my 
feelings, and tell the old gent in a (riendly way, that I'd rather hava 
two dollars, than a dollar and a half. Sahe? 



OUB HOTEL; OB, RATS, THE BELL BOY. 9 

Whistles, swings basket, and k'lnrjr; Rali'H over and then vanishes, 

L,, 2 K. 

Balph. (picTcing himself up slorohj) And I wonder what next? 
Enter, Laura, l., 2 e., cr>jiii/j h>jstericallij. 

Laura. What shall we do? What shall we do? 

Balph. Now, what the deuce ails yon ? 

Laura. Papa has just been to see ine, and after a somewhat nn- 
lilensant interview, told me Toots and I were to be sent back to the 
iarm in the morninjr. 

Balph. The confounded old villain, I wish he would suddenly 
niMlve up his mind to die. 

Laura. But he won't, especiilly if he sliould know we would 
wish it. So what are we to do? 

Balph. But wliy are you to be sent back to the farm? 

Tjaura. Father expects an elopement between you and I. 

Balph. An elopement! (catches her hands) Why, tlie con- 
fdunded old wretch has given me an idea, (arm about her 

Enter, Rats, l., 2 e. 

i-jV tlie groat horn-spoons, we will elope! 

Bats. Break away. (comes down 

Balph. (releasing Laura) Get out of tlie office. 

Bats. Well, I guess not. I'm onto you young fellow. The boss 
foM n e to keep an eye on you and not let .vou know it, and tliat's 
\\liat I'm doing — for a dollar and a lialf a week. There don't anv- 
') 'ily elope wliile I'm in tlie house. (starts fur c. k 

lialph. (<o Laura) Greiit heavens, [what are we to do? Blank 
:';ill! I've an idea, (/o Rats) Here, you red-headed imp, come 
III- e. (Rats comes down) Can't we arbitrate this? 

Linira. Yes, young man, we will reward you liberally, if you 
(C ■ n our secret and aid us. 

Jlnts. Now you're talking. How much do 1 get to keep mum ? 

B tlph. Anything you wish. 

Bats. Two dollars? 

Balph. Yes, anything. But you must faithfully aid us. 

Enter, Tootsie, l., 2 e., coming slowly down. 

Y 11 must help us to elope. 

Toots, (stopping short) Elope! Who's going to elope? . 

Bats. Little bother's got her fingers in the sugar again. Oh ! 
mv — 

Laura. Now Toots, darling, you also must aid us. 

Toots. Us! Who is us? 

Laura. Why, Ralph and I. 

Toots, {runnimj to c. e.) You and Ralph! I'm going to tell 
da I. 

Balph. (quicJchj to Rats) Stop her. 

Bats. Do I get the two ? 

Balph. Of course you do. 

Bats, (stopping Tootsie) Excuse me, young ladv, but yon won't 
tidl dad or anyone else. I'm getting two dollars for this, and aa 
they say in the circus, "you are mv prisoner." 



10 OUR HOTEL; OB, BATS, THE BELL BOY. 

Toots. But I'll scream. 

Bats. 11 it's iroinuf to do you .any good, <s,o alica 1 and scream till 
your voice cracks, I don't c.ir'.'. 

Laura, (comini up to and pxltiiuj arms around Tootsie) Now 
Toots, won't you help Ralph and I. 

Tuots. [jerlcing herself away) No, I won't do anythin,;; of the 
sort, J am <^oin,2; to scream. 

Bats, (puts hand over her mouth) Well, 1 guess not. 

{she struggles 

Balph. Do be reasonable, 'I'oots. 

Bats. Will 1 uncover? 

Balph. Yes, butba careful. 

Kats takes hand away — 'I'ooTstic makes a nearhj successful attempt to 
scream and Rats replaces hand on her mouth, 

Balph. Great Scntt, can't we silence her in some way? 

Jlats. Might cut her tongue out. That's the only way a woman 
will keep tiiat member still, (another attempt from Tootsik) Say, 
'J'nots, tell jou what I'll do. If you help me earn these tvvo dollars, 
I'll luarry you as soon as we can elope, and will go to holl^ekeeping. 
Onch, she's biting me. 

Laura. (^> Ralph) I think 1 can mruinge it now. («o Tootsie) 
Tocts, you must helj) us. JNly reason for eloping is tiie fact tliMt 
father is going to send l)Oth yon and 1 to Aunt "Riah's" in the 
morning, and you don't want to go, do j'ou. 

Toots. Do I want to<robacl<? Nev^^'r.' Will I help you — well, 
shake! But when will you attempt it? 

Balph. This afternonn. 

Bats. Does she get two dollars too? 

Balph. Oil! be quiet. Now then, tlii-; imiv plan, {all sit — Rats 
on floor) This is my afternoon oil to-day, and your father will be 
either drunk by 2 o'clock, or else busy here. Laura is to be dressed 
for traveliug and heavily veiled in the parlor. At a given signal. 
Rats and yourself are to come running down stairs cryiug tire at the 
top of j'our voices — 

Bats. For two dollars? 

Balph. Do be quiet, and follow me closely. The old villain wilt, 
ofcour.-e, rush up stairs to see about it, and will send in an alai m. 
All is excitement, and during it Luira and I rush to the elevator, 
which {lo Rats) you have i>reviously got up to this lloor. \Ve get 
in and start for the street and lor some kind-he:irted clergyman's 
home. The old gentlemen sees the ruse, comes rushing back, sees 
he has been outwitted, and — 

Bats. Knocks my head clean off and all for two dollars. You'd 
better make it four. 

Balph. It's a great idea, and, if Rats attends to his part of the 
Scheme, it caiuiot lail to be successful. 

Hay. {outside) Rats : where are yon ? 

Balph. Not a word, but remeuil)er! {he and Lauka at l., 2 e.) 
Remember! (they exit 

Bats. (a(L.,3E.) You remendier tho^e two dollars. (<o Tootsie) 
You'd better scoot. The old man's crazv. {exit, L. e. 

Hay. (outside) Confound that boy I 

Hats, I'd beit-T scoot myself. (exit, u, 3 k. 



OTJBEOTEL; Oil, BATS, TEE BELL BOY. H 

Enter. Hay, r. e., quickly. 

Hay. Eats! Now, where the devil is that rerl-heaJed imp? 
Sleeping: probably! {hells ring') Whew! but that fellow in 26 must 
bemad! (more bells) Eats! Eats! Why the devil doesn't some- 
one come? 

Enter, Ealpii, l., 2 e. 

Here, you 'tend to this, while I try to find that blanlvety blanked 
bell boy; and if I do — {hangs door and I'.cit, c. e. 

Ralph. This will never do. I wonder where he is? {hells) He 
will be discharged, at this rate, before uight, an I then wo I't be able 
to help me. {bells 

Enter, Eats, c. e., slowly, 

J ookhere, Eats, this will never do. You have got to be quicker. 

Bats, {dolefully) Now? 

Balph. Certainly. You've got to fly ! 

Bats. Is that so? 

Balph. No impertinence, please. Ejmember the — 

{holds up four fingers 

Bats. By gosh, that's so. What do you want? 

{all hustle now—bell^ , 

Balph. Let's see. {handing pitcher) Eun up to room 26 with 
ihis and see what room 90 wants. (Eats takes pitcher and whistles — 
hustles ttp stairs — loud Jemale scream, yell, and II ^TS comes tumbling 
d'lwn stairs landing in aheap — Ealpii laughing) What's the matter? 

B'lts. (sullenly) I hope j'ou're enjoying yourself! {gets up, 
limping) Darn old maids ! 

Ralph. What! yon don't mean to say you rushed into Miss 
Prim's room! Ha! ha! ha! 

Bats. Yes, that may seem like a joke to you, but I don't see ir. 
Yon see I went flying np stairs for four dollars, and I see 25 across 
the hall, so I stops at the door right across from it, grabs the knob, 
yanks her open and rushes in, and there was that confounded old 
maitl putting on her corset. (B.a'lvh laughs) Funny ain't it? She 
hollered, 1 slid, struck the bottom stair, and here 1 am, and all for a 
dollar and a half a week. 

Miss Prim, {appearing at head of stairs) You yonng wretch! 
{JIats jumps as she descends stairs) I'll teach you to intrude upon 
the privacy of young ladies' apartments, (grabs Rats by ear, pulls 
him about and then throws him to foot of counter, goes sloioly np stairs, 
stops at top, says) There sir! (and exits — Ealph laughing 

Bats, {still on floor) Funny, ain't it, and all for less than two 
dollars, {picking himself up and goes to door) But let me tell you, I 
don't work in no lunatic asylum for less than two dollars a week. 
See ! (rushes out 

Balph. {rushing to door) Great Jupiter, he's going to leave. I've 
got to stop him. (rushes out c. D. — bells 

Hay. {outside) Confound the imp. 

Enter, Hay, c. e. 

I'll be darned if I don't get drunk — good and drunk. Troubles? 
Show rae a man with half the troubles I've got. Here I've just had 



20 OUR HOTEL ; OR, RATS, THE DELL BOY. 

anntlier spat with Ti;uira, and by the areat — {hand vp) jrreat — well, 
lot's have a drhik. (does so) Laura, I'll nvilce her marry a duke. 
(drinks^ Tootsie, I'll send hor baok to the farm, [drinks) The 
clerk, I'll disohar<::e him, and the bell boy — l,bell rings) I'll murder 
him in cold blood, (now slijhib/ intoxicated, helU rinn violently) 
Hello! room 10-1! Wher^i'j Kits? (iioies to door, c.) Hits! Eats! 
Kats ! 

C. T>, Opens and Rats walks slowhj in. rchisHinj, "7 w:>n''t work half a 
minute longsi") 

Well, I'll be darnel ! Coma lu-re — now, what in the devil do you 
mean by walkin^;; in here as thouijh you were asleep, with the bells 
riri'jfing like tire. Why don't you hustle? 

R'lts. I did hustle. 

TI<i)j. You did hu'itle? If thal's hustlinfi; — you want to llv ! 

Rats. But not for a dollar and lia!f a week. Say, when do I get 
the two? 

Hay. You'll j^et them. 

Rats. When? Ilight away ? 

Hay. Shut up. 

Enter, John, c. d., toith two trunks, one large and one small toy 

trunk. 

John. Here's two trunks to go up lo Tio mi 204, fo.irtli floor! 

[Hats fulls 

Hay. Rats, put them on the elevator and rush them up to Room 
^204. 

Rats, (asida) I've got to keep the elevator up here, or I'll not 
,get tiiose four dollars, (to Hay) The elevator's broke. 

Hay. Suflering cats! 

Goes to small trunk, lifts it laboriously and staggers up stairs — bells 

ring. 

Hay. Comedown! Comedown! (hells) Why doesn't he oome 
down? (bells) Come down! (rushes to foot of stairs) Rits! 
(Rats conies slowly down) AVhy uoa't you hurry? 

Riits. I did hurry. 

Hay. Hurry! \Vhy, you're asleep. Wiien you hear I hose bells 
riiiir, drop everything. Do you uiulerstand — dro[) ever3'thing and 
come here. Kow then, hustle the otiier trunk up. (aside) I'll try 
iilm now. 

Hats makes quick jump for large trunk, lifts it vnth case, throws on 
his shoulder and rushes up to top of stairs — Hay j-iulls belli — Rat3 
drops trunk and comes down on railing. 

Hay. (terribly excited) Well. I'm struck dumb — "-runk busted. 
{Ryv^ at front) Two dollars, indeed! (shaking jUt) It will cost 
you Just eiirht dollars to rejilace that trunk, young man, and you 
ouo-lit to thank your stars, if I don't kiek you down stairs. 

Rats. Two dollars — I don't got. Eight dollars — 1 do get — against 
me. Well, I guess not. Didn't you toll me to drop every'thing 
when I heard those bells ring, and didn't I do it. You ain't got no 
kick cominiT. 



OXIB HOTEL; OB, RATS, THE BELL BOY. IS 

Enter, O. H. Umbug, r. e., with prip. 

Umhug. Ah! Mr. Hay. Here I am again. How's business? 

Rats picls uphroken trunk and throins down elevator shaft — Hay and 
Umbug at register — irash at triink goes down— Hay starts, like- 
loise Umbug — Rats runs to bar, takes cigar box, endeavors to stuff 
floods from broken trunk in box, hustles up stairs— bells ring hard 
—Rats slides down stair rail — npsets Umbug— r/m/js vmter 
pitcher, hustles up — bells ring — Hay runs to bottom of stairs — 
Rats api^ears top with grip, throios it, striking Hay on top of head 
—Umbug at foot lights, scared— bells ring— B.\-£S slide down stairs. 

Hats, (on counter) What do you want? 
Hay. Show that gentleman up to room 4. 

(Rats takes Umbug Spanish and rushes him to stairs 
Hats. Do I get my two? 
Hay. Of course you do ! 

Rats runs Umbug up stairs Spanish, then hustles down, grabs grip 
throios it — crash. 

J?ats. There's your grip, {U ay at foot light:) Do I get my two? 
Hay. Tlie imp is crazy. 01 course you do. 

il \T3 hustles to door, L., 2 E., where Ralph and Laura are — site' 

v:iled. 

liats. (/o Ralph) All ready? 

li ilfih. Yes. Is the elevator up? 

Hat-. I guess 80. Let her start, (bells) Room 132. Here goes! 
(tin s to stair. Up same and comes rushing down) ^Ir. Hnv, llielititel's 
t II ri ,1 ! I just run up and the liall was all lull of sm > .c. Send in 
! 1' 1 arm. 
^H av and Rats shouting "fire"' — Hat runs to box on flat — pulls lever 

Kuier, TooTsiE, shouting "fire,'"' '(Zsn John, Umbug and Old Maid — 
Hay, followed by all except Rats, rushes up stairs — smoke from, 
that direction — fire gong in distance — all excitement — gong gr ad' 
u-il.y coming nearer — getting I Aider — Rai's runs to L., 2 e. 

Hats. Hustle for the elevator. 

(Rats, Rvlpit and Laura run to sams, open door 
Halph. Groat Jerusal(Mu. it's down! {Hay heard up stairs — gong 
tli'ppiiig at diinr) What'il we do? 
liats. Get behind the bar. 

(they hustle to bar and conceal themselves 

Enter, Firemen vnth hose and Hay rushes down. 

Hay. It's up stairs gentlemen ! For heaven's sake, hurry! 

(Hay rushes to l., 4 e., and exit, Firemen hurry up staiff 
Hats, [at counter) Come now, hustle ! Get out of this ! 



lit OUR HOTEL; OB, BATS, THE BELL BOY. 

Hushes them to r., 2 e., here he comex lack, Laura a?ifZ Ralph exi 
hurriedly — Tootsik and reU of chffracters, including Firemen. 
come down stairs — Hay rushes in from l., 3 e., still shouting Jive 
at top of voice. 

Fireman, {stopping him — Rats r. ajul Tootsie l., latighing) Look 
here, vou old dutler, what do you mean by ringing in an alarm of 
fire? ' 

Hay, {mystified) Of course there ain't, and you know it. 
There's a couple of dudes in room 58 smoking cigarettes! « (Fire- 
man /i;«s Hay rnirZ ext7s, c. e., who drops — Rats and Tootsie and 
others can cnnt^tin themselves no longer, and both laugh hilariously — 
tlw picking himself up) Ttiere you stand, laughins like a pair of 
idiots, when you ought to be iielping me. Where's the clerk? 

Toots, {laughing) He's gone! 

Hay. Gone! Gone wlieie? Where's Laura? 

Bats. She's gone. (in a fit of laughter 

Hay. Gone? Why what a confounded fool I've been. 1 see it 
all now. They have- 



S;} ElopeJ! 



Enter, Ralph and Laura, c. e. — all turn as they enter. 

Balph. ) A ' 1 -If 

Lnira. \ An i been married ! 

Bats. For four dollars ! 

Ralph /(ajuZs Rats money — Tootsie laughs and goes to her father, 
who seems about to faint — all laugh 

QUICK CUB TAIX. 

THE END. 



The Miller's Daughter; 

OR, 

B ound in H onor. 

A drama in 4 acts by H. Jay Gibbs, for 8 male and 6 fe- 
male characters — can be doubled to play with 5 male 
and 4 female characters. Costumes easily obtained. 
Time of per forma nce 2 hours^ 

SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS, 

ACTI.—Tlie Miller's Cr>ttige— A mctsagod Home— "Elsie itiust marry Pquive 
'Chornton and s!i\e ourhoiU'?" — Mrs. D'rivent's douUts— Beauty and Dickey— "I won't 
bo terged"— Flirtiition oUhe ^eirt— "A bnshi 1 and a peck and a hug around the 
J er-k"— Basil Lawrence and Elsie— Tbe secret marriiigre — "My story is told in tho 
fallinpr wat^^r of the od mill stre 'm"— B auty and Ba^il— The wager— "Are yu 
nai'ty n'c=?" — Dic''py's nicfuie and the choco ate drops — The teleprram- "Beauty, b" 
:< riend to Elsie— Beauty and the Squire— Dickey interferes— Elsie refuses to marry 
Squ're 'I hornfon— Driven f;o n I ome, with a 'nther's curse. 

ACT II. — The mountain Witch— Squire Thornton secures her assistance— Basis 
PTid h s mo'lier, Coimtess Harrington— The d mand — "I am married"— "A miller's 
d;nightcr'' — A mother's re-olve— "You are a minor, the marriage is i legal"— The 
ladr i:id accident, in whie'i Basil i' injured- Di-key's letter — att mpted ab luetion of 
I'^l-ie— Beanty on hnn '- Rescue of Elsie— "Die you villain"— Death of Squire Thorn- 
ton — "Oh heav<-n! he di^d with a lie on his lips " 

.ACT III.— Home of Coun ess Harrington— The bill- Isibel and the Countess— 
" Vly one wish is that you become my son's wife" — Basil can't recall the past year" — 
" ' is only a dream' —Elsie as Mile Cf ratii, attends the ball— Meets Basil— "My hu.s- 
hand '—lie tells her of h's dream— The flovver— Isabel and Mile — ''You are an Adven- 
t'lr ss"— "No, lam Basil Harrington's deserted wifi" — Beauty and Dicley— Lord 
IIvio p'oposes to Beauty — The ohi song, awikened memories— "Elsie, El-ie, my 
tvife!' — Countess Harrington declares the marriage void — Despairof Elsie — "I choose 
my wfe, Elsie" — "Mother, I leave vou forever ' I 

AC I' IV. — The Miller's cottage — Beauty at home — Beauty tells Elsie's story to her 
fatliT — "I curse her" — The vengence of heaven — Return of Elsie — B auty and 
Dicke — TVie un^X' ected caller — Dickey on his knees — Elsi" and Basil — "My wife, 
oir marriarre was 'egal — Dickey proposes — "Do I crowd?" — The cn-se revoked, and 
E's'c anil Basil are now "Ijound in Honor." Price 25cts. 

The Old Wayside Inn. 

A drama in 5 acts by J. E. Crary, for 9 male and 6 female 
characters. Time of performance 2 hours. 

SYNOPSJS OF INCIDENTS. 

ACT L— The Wayside Inn. Storm on the Moor. Arrival of Lady Arley and infant 
r'aughter. Lill Beckwith warns nor. "If is death to remain longer." Arrival of 
Jae'; > ockwith. Murder of Lady Arley. Lill saves the child. 

ACT II. — A lapse of fifteen years. Lill and Gypsy. The dying woman. "lam 
not y(nr mother." The scere? revealed. Jack arrives. A death hed. Jack's des- 
pair! Gypsy discovers I er mother's papers, which reveals hermnther's history. Bart 
,1 nan and Jack meet. "I know your secret." "My silence is, the hand of Gypsy." 
Biuce StiHwell. Lost c-n the Moor. Seeks shelter, and is warned by Gypsy His 
escape. .Tack's oath ;>f Ii;- wife's grave. Murder of Jack and abduct'on of Gypsy, by 
Bart .Juan and his men. Bruce discovers Jack in time to learn of the abduction. 
Death of Jack. 

ACT III.— The Tri<h and Dutch Detectives. "Ish dot so?" Ho""e of Lady Still- 
well. The compact between Bruce and h's mother "Hove Gypsy Beckwith." Pat 
and Fritz. Cave of the Robbers. Washington dances at the point of a revolver. 
Gyp-y's escape. Oath of vengeance. 

ACT IV.— Bruce discovers Gyp'^y a= an Actress. I shall never marry my cousin 
Gerty. Bart Juan and Bniee. 'The duel, in which Ge'ty meets her death. 

ACT v.— Lady Stillwell's attempt to diacover the heiress. Bruce and (Tvn'^y. Tho 



^ LITTLE GOLDIE; -^ 

OR, 

The Child o f the Ca mp. 

A "Western Comedy Drama in Four (4) Acts for 11 male 
and 3 female characters, by 

~ MR, CHARLES 0. WILLARD. ~" 

Little Goldie is a strong Western drama. It is replete 

with startling situations, thrilling incidents and 

interesting from the beginning to the 

end. Dutch, Irish and Negro 

characters for the 

comedy parts. 

SYNOPSIS OF EVENTS. 

ACT T. — The rioni." near the "lUack Hawk's"' cave. The lawyer? and Mike. Little 
floklip has fun with the .Tuslgc. Mike makes love to Matilda. The Judjre is appealed 
to. Matilda and the Judge. Joe arrived late. The Captain of the Black Hawks 
shows up. Tell^j the ganpr a storv. Old Jones is rich. The plot. Peter's meets old 
•Jones. The ?trupKle. Iiittle Goldie to the rescue, backed by the Judge and his 
"cannon " "Tt wouldn't do in this glorious climate of Colorado." 

ACT IT.— The Cfl. and the Mai himent the escape of the Black Hawks. The 
.TiKlgr gets drunk. Mike tells some new. The hoys "lay" for the school teacher. 
The jichool teacher arrives. A female. The Judge makes a speech. Joe dropsin and 
cuts them all out. Matilda and the Judge. Mike gets mad. The Capt. of the Black 
JIawks again. Little Goldie at her pranks— has trouble with Godfrey. Joe inter- 
feres 'The Col. and Maj. get in their work. Judge tries to escape from Matilda. 
Mike" helps him out. The recognition. The story. I will be there. The quarrel. 
"Dronth"t knife, or I'll fill you full of holes." ^ „ 

ACT TIT.— The homt of Edith. Matilda tells a little gossip and departs. Joe calls 
and tflls I'lilith of his love. The Judge hears him refused. Joe departs. The Judge 
tries hif hand. Matilda nnexpecetdly returns. The Judge in a fix. Little Goldie 
again. A new baby. Godfrey calls on Edith. The promise. "So will L" The Col. 
and Ma.i. Mike hnpnens along. The Judce takes a hand. Little Goldie looking for 
Joe. ilnn''some Harrv. "I'll play this alone if I die for it." Near the Black Hawk's 
retreat Tlie Black Ilawks. Godfrey waiting Edith's arrival. Edith arrives. 
"Never " "Then go where you belong." Handsome Harry to the rescue. "Defend 
yourself." Harry Ts overpowered. The fate of a traitor. Goldie to the rescue. The 
terrible fall of Godfrey. „^. , ,^ , . ._ ,.., -,, 

ACT IV —Bummer Jones' fGeorge A^ infred) home m Denver. Miko Elynn m 
command.' The reformed Bummer. The letters. The letter from the nephew. The 
rephew arrives Godfrey as a ".Missionary." The uncle writes a letter dictated by. 
the nephew. The arrival of the Judge. Themurder. The Col. and Joe. Godfrey's 
claim. Mike tells wliat he heard. Godfrey accused of murder. "His child and 
ti'c heiress is dead." The heir'^ss found is Little (Toldie. Handsome Harry. Godfrey 
cheat' the Imw. Edith and Jo". TTnevpected arrival of Matilda. Happy finale. 

Amateurs will find this piece just what they want, as it 
was written expressly for them. 

PRICE 25 CENTS PER COPY. 



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Comedies Continued. 

Factory (jirl 

Heroic Dutchiuiin of '70 

llomc 

Lo#'s Labor >Jot Lost 

Mr.lliKlsoii's Tifrer Hunt 

New Years in N. Y 

Not So Bad After All 

Not Such a Fiol iis He Look!* 

Our Daughters 

Pug and the Baby 

Passions 

Prof. Jiimes' Experience 

'IVa'-hiii:.' Country School 

Ra^rs and Bottles 

Scale with Sharps and Flats.. 

Solon Sliinsle 

Tw.. Had j;oy,s 

The r>itcr Bit 

The Cis-'arette 

S2,00i! Reward 

TilAGEDIES. 

The Serf 



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.-Var-u-ay-oos 

Actor and Servant 

Annt (Miarl'itte .< Maid 

A Colonel's M'shai) 

A Cainta Match 

A Kis' in tho J>ark 

ATexan Mothor-in-Law 

A Day Well Spent 

A Regular Fix 

A Prolossional (iardener 

AiaruiiuKly Suspicious 

All In A Mud Me 

An Awfi.l Criminal 

.A .M:itchin 'kins Father 

A Pet oi the Public 

A Romantic Attachment 

A Thrilling Item 

A Ticko' of Leave 

Betsey Baker 

Better Half 

Black vs. White 

Captain Smith _ 

Cheek Will Win 

Cou.'iin Josiali 

Cupi's Capers 

Clevoland s R"( eption Party. 

Double Eleoti' n 

Dor Two Surprises 

Dence !*< in Him 

Did Dream it 

Doracsiic Felicity 

D-Uch Prize Fishter 

Ditchy vs. Nisrser 

Fh'? W at Did You Say 

Everybody Astonished 

Foolingr with the Wronjr Man 
Freering a Moiher-in-Law... 
Fun in a Post Ofliee 



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Family Discipline 

Family Jars 

(loose with the (Jolden Earjts 

(iiveMcMy Wife ... 

Hailabahoola, the Medicine 

Man 

Han.s the Dutch j. P. ...•■■.■." 

Haus Brummel's Cafe 

Hash 

H. M.S. Plum ;.'..'.■.'.".■.'.'.'.;;; 

How She has Own Way 

How He Popped the Quest'n. 

How to Tame M-in-Law 

How Stout Vour Getting 

Incompatibilitv of Temper . 

In the Wrong Clothes 

•facob Shlalf's Mistake 

Jimmie Jone? 

John Smith 

Johmes Hiati's Mistake 

Jumbo Jum 

Killins Time 

Kittie's Wedding Cake...._ 

Lick Skillet Wedding 

L.iuderbiich's Little Surprise 
Locked iu a Dress-maker's 

Room 

Lodginss for "Two '. ...! 

Loye in all Cor'>or.« 

Matrimonial Bliss 

Match for a other-Min-Law.. 

More Blunders than one 

Mother's Fool 

My Heart's in Highlands 

My Precious Betsey 

My Turn Next 

Mv Wife's Rel.itions 

My Day and Now-a-Days 

.My Neighbor's Wife 

Nanka's Leap Year Venture.. 

Nobody's Moke 

Obedience 

On the Sly ;."; 

Paddy Miles' ]3oy 

Patent Washing Machine 

Persecuted Dutchman 

Poor Pilicodv 

Quiet Family 

Rough Diamond 

Ripples 

Room 44 

S.tritji aus' Daui;hter 

Sch'i.ips ;■.,. 

Sowing Circle of P"riod 

S. H. A. M. Pinafore 

Someboily's Nobody 

Stage Struck Yankee 

Struck bv Lightning 

Slick and Skinner 

Slasher and '""rasher 

Taking the Census 

That Aw.Fnl Carpet Bag.. . 

Th-t Rascal Pat 

Thit Mysterious B'dle 



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The Bewitched Closet ;] 

The ComiiiK '^an ■.] 

Turn Him Out j 

The Actor's >Schcine..„ ^ 

The Irish Squire of bquHsh 

Ridge v.-VJ- - 

285 The Mashers Mashed ^ 

1)8 The Sham Frofossor 4 

2it5 The Spellin' Skewl ' 

54 The Two T. J's •••.-VV T 

28 Thirty-three Next Birthday.. 4 

292 Tim t'lannigan ^ 

142 Tit for Tat •■■•.-■••-,■: :V" I 

27fi The Printer and His Uevi\a.. 3 

2(i3 Trinls of a Country Ed'tov.... h 

7 The Wonlerful Telephone.... 3 

281 Two Aunt Emily •' 

312 Uncle Ethan 4 

2«9 Uniust Justice ^ 

170 U.S. Mail ? 

213 Vermont Wool Dealer o 

1.51 Wanted a Hu.shand.. 2 

56 Wooing Under Difficulties 5 

70 Which will he Marry j 

l;i5 Widowe-'s Trials 4 

Waki'gnim Up.......-^ 1 

Why they Joined the Re- 
beccas I' 

Yankee Duelist 2 

Ya'kee Peddler ' 

ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 

204 Academvof Star? ^ 

A Coincidence \^ 

An Unwelcome Return •> 

An Unhnppy Pair } 

Black Shoemaker 4 

Black Statue 4 

Colored Senutors o 

Chops i 

Cuff's Luck 2 

Crimps Trip - ^ 

Fetter Lane to Oravesend 2 

Hamlet the Dainty « 

Haunted House 2 

How Sister Paxey got her 

Child Biiptizpd 2 

Handy Andy .^... 2 

Hyi'ochondriac The 2 

Tn For It -^ 

In the Wrong Box ^ 

Joe's Vis t f 

88 MisohievouB Nigger 4 ^^ 

MAKE YOUR OWN WIGS ! 

PREPARED WOOL Is an article that everyone without any experience 

cm m;ike into 

WIGS, BEARDS, MUSTACHES, ETC., 

At v«ry little cost, and will he sure to «ive satisfaction. Price 50 cents per ounce. 

Addre,», . IHE AMES PUBLISHINO CO., 
Lock Box m. - CLYUL, UHlU. 

ai ^ rb 



NO. 

256 
128 
90 
61 
244 
23-4 
150 
246 
109 
2<t7 
134 
2.58 
177 
96 
107 
133 
179 
94 
243 
25 
92 
238 
10 
tvl 
253 
282 
122 
118 
6 
108 
245 
4 
197 
198 
216 
206 
210 
203 
205 
l.)6 



17 
1.30 



215 
2.5(1 
260 



Midnight Colic 

Musical Darkey 

No Cure No Pay 

Not as Deaf as He Seewis 

Old Clothes 

Old Dad'8 Cabin 

OldPoinpcy 

Othello 

Other People's Children 

Pomp Green's Snakes 

Pomp's Pranks 

Prof.Bones'Latest Invention 

guarrelsome Servants 
ooms to Let ~ 

School 

Seeinj.' Bosting — 

Sham Doctor 

16.000 Yf-ars Ago _ 

Snorts on a Lark 

Sport vvith a Sportsman 

Stage Struck Darkey 

Strawberry Shorten ke 

Stocks Up, Stocks Down 

That Bov Sam 

The Bosti^ure 

The Intelligence Office 

The Select School 

The Popcorn Man 

The Studio 

Those Awful Boys 

Ticket Taker 

Twain's Dodging 

Tricks 

Uncle Jetf 

Vice Versa 

Villkens and Dinah 

Virginia Mummy 

Who Stole the Chickens 

William Tell 

Wig-Maker and His Servants 

GUIDE BOOKS. 

Hints on Elocution 

Hints to Amateurs 

CANTATA. 

On to Victorv 

TABLEAUX. 

Festival of Days 

PANTOMIME. 

Cousin John's Album 



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